The Quiet Desperation of Sex Addiction

The ways in which we teach men to “be real men” in our society limits their ability to openly discuss their sexuality and the range of complicated feelings and experiences they have had related to their sexuality. As a consequence, they often carry the burdens of shame, painful memories of unwanted or confusing sexual experiences, overwhelming or conflicted emotions. This can often lead to men seeking relief through compulsive or unhealthy sexual behaviors, drugs, alcohol, and more.

A man in recovery from sex and drug addiction wrote the following essay for The Meadows Alumni newsletter more than 10 years ago, but the experiences he describes are still all too common among men today…

One Man’s Struggle with Sex Addiction

I was scared. I was lonely. I was a little boy. My father was a college professor. My mother was college educated. I have two younger brothers and a younger sister. We had plenty of food and clothes. We got birthday presents. Santa Claus came to see us. We were a very distant family, like ships passing in the night. We rarely hugged. We rarely expressed emotion. We rarely talked about what was going with us as individuals or as a family. I was scared. I was lonely.


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