Mindfulness Can Transform

We humans are resilient creatures – we generally find ways to survive. However, surviving isn’t the same as thriving! Indeed, many times the very adaptations that helped us to survive get in the way of really living life wholeheartedly.

Frequently, these self-limiting patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving are most apparent, and most problematic, in our close relationships. Utilizing attachment theory as a guide, we can discover how these patterns were setup in our relationships with family and romantic partners. Gaining clarity about our patterns of attachment avoidance (i.e., love avoidance) and attachment preoccupation (i.e., love addiction) empowers us to let go of old survival mechanisms that are no longer serving their purpose and establish healthier ways of relating to ourselves and others.

While it is true that we can’t change the past, we can change our perception of it and our relationship to it… and that can change everything! The Mind & Heart workshop is designed to help in this process of growth and genuine change. Mindfulness, a contemplative practice and state of being that allows us to be more present with the life that is here, can facilitate increased awareness of our unique survival patterns that are now limiting our growth. Coupling mindfulness with greater compassion and acceptance for self and others can enable us to take meaningful and sustainable steps towards lasting change. Mindfulness (Mind) and compassion (Heart) are powerful tools for transforming the pain of the past by learning to wholeheartedly accept ourselves, as we are, in the present moment.

Psychiatrist, researcher, teacher, and workshop designer, Dr. Jon Caldwell, DO, PhD, will personally facilitate the workshop. The Mind & Heart workshop is a scientifically researched intervention that entails a mixture of highly informative material and experiential exercises using mindfulness and compassion. Because these ancient practices will be applied in unique ways to heal past wounds, people of various skill levels with mindfulness can benefit from the workshop. Also, the practice of mindfulness and compassion does not need to interfere with workshop participants’ spiritual beliefs, but can serve to deepen existing belief systems. All that is needed is a curious mind, a willing heart, and an intention to heal!

Content Source : Mindful Path To Wholehearted Living

A Unique Healing Experience

• Expressive Arts
  Participants can express themselves through a variety of modalities ranging from painting to music therapy to psychodrama.
  
• Yoga, Tai Chi and Acupuncture
  Many alternative or progressive exercises such as Tai Chi and Yoga reduce stress by focusing on healing the mind, body and spirit. We also incorporate Acupuncture, an ancient Chinese medicinal technique that eases pain, alleviates stress and promotes wellness.
• 12-step meetings
  Twelve-step meetings help patients realize they’re not alone on their journey of recovery. At meetings, individuals have an opportunity to share their feelings and hear other people share their experience, strength and hope.
  
• Live Music and Camp Fires
  Workshop participants will have opportunities to unwind and socialize in the evenings during live music performances and campfire activities.
• Equine therapy
  Through interactions between patients and horses, patients learn new ways of dealing with trauma, addictions and relationships. Trained equine specialists use the interactions to illustrate the relationship patterns patients exhibit with people in their lives.
• Challenge Courses
  Our challenge courses involve an intricate network of ropes, cables and logs. All activities are designed to address issues that are being explored through workshops including group communication, problem solving, trust, planning, teamwork, facing fear, cooperation, understanding self and self-esteem.
  
• Meals
  Workshop participants will be served three meals per day, each prepared by The Meadows extraordinary chef. Meals are catered to facilitate balanced nutrition as part of the overall holistic healing experience.
  

The Rio Retreat Center Can Help

Workshops at the Rio Retreat Center at The Meadows are designed to help you understand your own needs, desires, emotions, habits, and everything else that makes you who you are. The more you know about yourself, the better equipped you are to engage in healthy relationships and have an improved sense of self. To learn more about the Rio Retreat Center at The Meadows or to sign up for one of our groundbreaking workshops, call us at 866-997-8770 or fill out the form below and a representative will be happy to provide you more information.

Content Source : Healing Trauma Workshops

Psychodrama Workshop – Rio Retreat Center

THRIVE is an experiential intensive that takes you to the next level of recovery.

Hanging onto old pain keeps us preoccupied with our past and anxious about our future, rather than living in the present. Releasing dysfunctional roles and embracing new ones empowers us to experience our full potential. But before we’re able to release worn out roles, we need to give voice and shape to them. This action oriented process will provide a unique opportunity to engage in an exploration that will lead you to a greater sense of aliveness and purpose: a life changing new experience carved out of time to energize and revitalize —to live your actualized life!

The workshop will emphasize:

• Forgiveness
• Resilience Training
• Post Traumatic Growth
• Consolidating Recovery Gains
  
  

To THRIVE is to……
Engage: More fully and mindfully in your relationships and day-to-day life.
Embrace: A deepened and more purposeful sense of self.
Expand: And revitalize your life roles.
Energize: Forgive the past to live more fully in the present.
Empower: Take ownership of your own healing and attitude towards life.

Workshops run 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., unless otherwise noted. The schedule is flexible, accommodating the group process.

Content Source : Workshops For Self Improvement

Mutual Respect and The Power of Intimacy

Power is a very interesting phenomenon. I remember having numerous conversations about the complex intersection of power and relationships in graduate school. There was a lot of confusion as to what exactly power even is.
One of the most common misunderstandings about power is that it is a linear phenomenon. In fact, power comes at us from numerous sources all of the time.

The second most common misunderstanding is that power is a zero-sum game— either you have it or I have it. And whatever you have, I can’t have, and vice-versa. This fundamentally flawed way of thinking about power greatly impacts our experiences in relationships.

There are two main ways we experience power in our relationships: power with and power over (you have power over someone else or some else has power over you). The Man Rules say that real men have power and are never weak or powerless. Therefore, from a very early age, young boys are encouraged to find power over – power over others, power over their feelings, and power over themselves.

The Woman Rules say that women should be cooperative, passive, nurturing, selfless, and not too strong. Therefore, from a very early age, young girls are encouraged to find power with. Women are expected to share power with others even if it puts them at a disadvantage; even when it means they have to give up their own power.

And that is the rub in so many heterosexual relationships.

Making Peace with Power

You cannot have a relationship that doesn’t involve a complex interaction with power. What some people don’t often consider is that power can be healthy. In fact, it is an essential part of the day-to-day human experience.

To help us explore the complexity of power in relationships, we can look to the classic Karpman drama triangle which illustrates the shifting, and sometimes destructive, roles of persecutor, rescuer, and victim that people play in relational conflicts. In this “drama triangle” each person involved in a conflict experiences and acts out all of these roles at different times. The role we take on can determine how we perceive our partners, interpret their behavior, and interact with them.

The reason these triangles arise, and often endure, is that each person, regardless of their role, finds that they get their unspoken, and often unconscious, psychological needs met by playing these roles—roles which they most likely originally “perfected” through the power dynamic that played out within their family as a child.

Whether they play the victim or persecutor, or some combination of all three roles, in the end, each person feels justified in acting upon their needs. Feeling satisfied, they often conveniently fail to acknowledge the dysfunctional ways they tend to go about getting their needs met, or the harm that is being done as a result to themselves, their partners, or any third parties (like children) who may be directly or indirectly involved in their conflict.

When there are times of disconnection in the relationship and even if, for whatever reason, there is a loss of respect between partners, intimacy can only be restored in the space of mutuality. We have to move away from the desire to have power over our partners toward the experience of having power with them. When we are able to uncover how our emotional needs arise from our childhood trauma, and release some of that pain, we have the ability to break free from the drama triangle and build an intimate and nurturing environment of mutual respect. Is it easier to let our relationships fall into a series of power plays or to maintain a space of mutual respect? I would suggest the former.

We have to build up our emotional and spiritual muscle in order to truly listen to our partners and maintain respect, especially when they are being their very human and imperfect selves and not doing what we want them to do or being who we want them to be.

Source Link : Mutual Respect

Tending the Garden of Our Souls

The girl was anxious, wanting to get back to the rose bush and save it from being ravaged by the beetle that was just doing what a beetle does. Already the pattern of codependence was set up. There I was at such a young age trying to stop the destruction that seemed an inevitable pattern of my family. As though the hunger of my fearful unhappy parents were just doing what they did to survive and the child was the rose. The analogy was daunting.

Tending to the garden of our soul is not something we think about often. But Spirit, in it’s divine wisdom, set up a situation for me to heal the foundation of my roots as well as protect how I bloom.

 

A few months ago I was getting ready to set course with a production company on a project when Spirit told me, “We want you to heal some of your history.” Hum, well, of course I wondered how that would happen, but our agendas or what we think about how such a thing can transpire is often contrary to what we WANT to have happen. I like to have things be loving and copacetic so that communication can be resolved in a harmonious way. But this time I could not make that happen because Spirit had a different idea.

Source Link : Relationship Therapy Workshop

Autumn Is a Time for Letting Go

I live in Arizona so I do not get the benefit of seeing the beautiful fall foliage colors that some of the other parts of the nation enjoy. However, I see plenty of pics of autumn colors posted all over social media from friends across the country.

One thing I always think about in the fall is, “What do I need to let go of? What do I need to address so that I can grow more next year?”

I was thinking about that last week as I facilitated a group that included a number of brave participants. Each had long-term, successful recovery in one area, but were still working to overcome issues that had presented themselves in other areas of their lives.

Are You Holding on to Your Pain?
The more insight we have into ourselves, the more likely we are to notice additional things that we need to work on. It is not uncommon for people in recovery to find other areas of their lives unmanageable.

Sometimes, the issues are just part of everyday life; but, for people in recovery, everyday life issues can increase the risk of relapse and bring more challenges to recovery. Some of these unresolved issues might include other addictions, relationship or family issues, unresolved childhood or adult trauma, unavoidable grief and loss, money and work issues, long-held resentments, or simply complacency that has halted their growth in recovery.

We may think we need to hold onto some of our pain because we are not sure who we would be without it. We might also feel that we need certain behaviors to cope or survive. At times, we compare our current issues to those we already addressed and deem them “less serious.” Then, we procrastinate on the additional emotional work that we need to do. Regardless of what the additional issues are, it is important to address them.

The Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse on Adult Sexuality

Childhood Sexual

By Cassandra Rustvold, LMSW, MEd, Trauma Therapist at Gentle Path at the MeadowsChildhood sexual abuse (CSA) has the potential to transform the trajectory of one’s life in a multitude of ways. While the effects of childhood sexual abuse are largely individualized and can manifest at different points throughout the lifespan, commonly reported symptoms and long-term effects include dissociation, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-harm, relationship difficulties, and addictive or compulsive patterns of behavior (Aaron, 2012).

The sexual functioning and sexual identity in adolescence and adulthood is a particularly vulnerable factor in survivors. When a child suffers sexual abuse, sexual arousal becomes activated prematurely and can largely impact the survivor’s sense of autonomy over their body and sexual sense of self (Roller, Martsolf, Draucker & Ross, 2009).It can also draw early connections in the neural networks of the child’s brain that associates sex with power, fear, shame, confusion, secrecy and/or pain. It is not difficult to imagine why those whose sexuality has been impacted are more vulnerable to struggles with intimate relationships and sexuality.

When attempting to reconcile one’s abuse, a particularly confusing component for survivors of CSA is the experience of pleasurable physiological responses to their abuse, in conjunction with their emotional and psychological distress. Children who have experienced these positive and pleasurable feelings often report feelings of shame and responsibility tied to their abuse and sexuality, and may experience an overall distrust of their bodily reactions (such as arousal) or physical dissociation (Hunter, 1990 & Long, Burnett & Thomas, 2006).

This fusion of shame, secrecy and pleasure has the potential to predispose one to sexual aversion, sexual anorexia, dysfunction, or compulsion; thereby deterring them from developing healthy sexual scripts in adulthood.

The Link Between Sexual Abuse and Sex Addiction Three commonly experienced symptoms of childhood sexual abuse are also cornerstones of sexual addiction: compulsivity (the inability to control one’s behavior), shame, and despair.

In sex addiction, shame and despair act as a precursor to the beginning of future cycles, where the need to keep emotional pain at bay leads to mental preoccupation as an escape. The result of this addictive cycle often includes isolation, anxiety, alienation from loved ones, a breaking of one’s own value system, and secrecy; all things that often increase feelings of despair and a yearning to escape and repeat the cycle.

When an individual is struggling with intrusive thoughts of their sexual abuse or insidious negative self-talk as a result of their abuse, the lure of escape through addictive patterns of behavior is not only compelling but sometimes a means of psychological preservation.

In Dr. Patrick Carnes’ book The Betrayal Bond, eight trauma responses common among individuals who meet the criteria for sexual addiction are identified: trauma reactions, trauma pleasure, trauma blocking, trauma splitting, trauma abstinence, trauma shame, trauma repetition, and trauma bonding.

These patterns of behaviors are often unconscious attempts to reconcile, reframe, or repair the abuse that happened in youth. Unfortunately, they do not always accomplish this task and can result in perpetuated psychological and emotional damage.

The Role of Gender Gender differences also appear to play a role in how these difficulties manifest in adulthood and whether or not someone will seek out help.

Even in 2016, boys and men are still provided with narrow cultural and familial messages about what it means to be a masculine. This narrative includes such things as devaluing emotional expression and vulnerability, while prioritizing promiscuity and maintaining control.

Research has found that male survivors are less likely to report or discuss their trauma and more likely to externalize their responses to childhood sexual abuse by engaging in compulsive sexual behaviors (Aaron, 2012). For a male survivor of childhood sexual abuse, these expectations are in large conflict with the need to shatter the secrecy of their trauma and/or obtain and maintain healthy sexual relationships; both of which require an open and honest dialogue.

Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse and Redefining Your Sexuality

For men struggling with childhood sexual abuse and sexual addiction, learning to abstain from problematic sexual behaviors that reinforce abusive sexual scripts is just as important as learning how to develop healthy intimate bonds and create a sexual identity that is affirming.

For someone attempting to face these complex issues the importance of having acceptance and unconditional, non-judgmental support cannot be understated. It is the abusive and negative interpersonal interactions that created the pain and it is the supportive and affirming ones that have the power to lift it.

At Gentle Path at The Meadows, we specialize in creating this space while offering a host of trauma-based services that are informed by the most current understanding of the nature of trauma and its impact on the person as a whole. Additionally, the therapeutic focus at Gentle Path includes not only learning to identify which components of one’s sexuality are subtracting from the quality of their life but also identifying or creating ones to enrich it.

Give us a call today at 800-244-4949.

References

Aaron, M. (2012). The pathways of problematic sexual behavior: a literature review of factors affecting adult sexual behavior in survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 19(3), p. 199-218.

Carnes, P. (1997). The Betrayal Bond. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data.

Hunter, M. (1990). Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data.

Long, L. L., Burnett, J. A., & Thomas, R. V. (2006). Sexuality counseling: An integrative approach. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson/Merrill Prentice Hall.

Roller, Martsolf, Draucker & Ross (2009). The sexuality of childhood sexual abuse survivors. International Journal of Sexual Health, 21, p. 49-60.

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